| WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE GLEE QUOTE?
 Give a shout-out to your favorite quotes from the show right here. From hilarious zingers to scorching disses, add your favorites!
READY TO ADD YOUR AWESOME GLEE QUOTES? Click EasyEdit above to add to this page. | | |
|  | | My favorite Glee quote: "I am not homophobic. In fact, I have two gay dads. See, I was born out of love. My two dads screened potential surrogates based on beauty and IQ. Then they mixed their sperm together and used a turkey baster. To this day we don't know which one is my real dad, which I think is pretty amazing." | | Said by:Rachel Berry | Said to: us xD | | Episode:Pilot | Submitted by: Cammiel | | |
| | | My favorite Glee quote:"This... looks like barf." | | Said by: Sandy | Said to: Sheets & Things guy | | Episode:Pilot | Submitted by: Str8Bohemian | | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "Being a part of something special makes you special, right?"
| Said by: Rachel Berry
| Said to: Will Schuester
| Episode: Pilot
| Submitted by: actsmart29 ~ gleedie #1
| | |
| | | My favorite Glee quote: "This is where our daughter or gay son will sleep." | | Said by: Terri Shuester | Said to: Will Schuester | | Episode: Showmance | Submitted by: uhGlee | | |
| | | My favorite Glee quote: "You may think that every guy in school would totally, want to tap this, but my myspace schedule keeps me way to busy to date." | | Said by: Rachel Berry | Said to: us? | | Episode: Pilot | Submitted by: smilesandlaughs | | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "You think this is hard, try being waterboarded, that's hard."
| Said by: Sue Sylvester
| Said to: Cheerios
| Episode: Pilot
| Submitted by: mardud
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: ' You think this is hard. I'm living with Hepatitis, that's hard.
| Said by: Sue Sylvester
| Said to: Cheerios
| Episode: Pilot
| Submitted by: Timmy2701
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "Cheerleader Quinn Fabray? President of the celibacy club?"
| Said by: Rachel Berry
| Said to: Finn
| Episode: Pilot
| Submitted by: Rachieherbs
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "By it's very definition, Glee is about opening yourself up to joy."
| Said by: Lillian Adler (previous Glee Club teacher)
| Said to: As written on plaque
| Episode: Pilot
| Submitted by: trebor82
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| My favorite Glee quote: "Your resentment is delicious."
| Said by: Sue Sylvester
| Said to: Emma Pillsbury
| Episode: Pilot
| Submitted by: trebor82
| | |
| | | My favorite Glee quote: "Do you know who that is? That's you, Will. That's you happier than I've ever seen you." | Said by: Emma Pillsbury
| Said to: Will Shuester
| Episode: Pilot
| Submitted by: Wild-Kat
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: There is nothing ironic about show choir!
| Said by: Rachel Berry
| Said to: Glee club
| Episode: Pilot
| Submitted by: StupidMaddie
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "Oh hell to the nah! Look, I'm not down with this background singing nonsense. I'm Beyonce. I ain't no Kelly Rowland."
| Said by: Mercedes Jones
| Said to: Will Schuester
| Episode: Pilot
| Submitted by: athenan7
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: Rachel: I tried, but i guess i don't have a Gag Reflex
Emma: When you're older, you'll find that will be a gift.
| Said by: Rachel and Emma
| Said to:
| Episode: Showmance
| Submitted by: SunshineShani
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: Quinn: "If you quit I'll let you touch my breasts."
Finn: "Under the shirt?"
Quinn: "Over the bra."
| Said by: Quinn and Finn
| Said to: ---
| Episode: Showmance
| Submitted by: GleeFanatic
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| My favorite Glee quote: I have a question about the trees. It's always been my personal dream to cut down my own Christmas tree. How many Christmas trees will we have in the backyard? And do they come in different colors? Because...well...obviously, we're expecting a family, and I have a real sense that it might be a girl...
| Said by:
Terri Schuester (Will's wife) | Said to:
(Hilarious) Realtor (fantastic casting) | | Episode: Showmance | Submitted by: Humroot | | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: This banister was made by Ecuadorian children...
| Said by: Realtor
| Said to: Terri and Will
| Episode: Showmance
| Submitted by: Humroot
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote:
Will: "Are you threatening me?"
Sue: "Threatening you? Oh no, no, no, no. Giving you a chance to compromise yourself? You betcha! Let's break it down. You want to be creative, you want to be in the spotlight. Face it. You want to be me! So here's the deal. You do with your depressing little group of kids what I did with my wealthy, elderly mother. Euthanize it! Its time, and I'll be happy to offer you a job as my second assistant on cheerios. You can fetch me Gatorade, launder my soiled delicates. It'd be very rewarding work for you." | Episode: Showmance
| Submitted by: GleeFanatic
| | |
 | | My favorite Glee quote: But provide what exactly? The understanding that money is the most important thing? Or the idea that the only live worth living is one you're truly passionate about Will | Said by: Emma Pillsbury
| Said to: Will Schuester
| Episode: Pilot
| Submitted by: linatouin902
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "Do you want to captain the Titanic too?"
| Said by: Principal Figgins
| Said to: Will Schuester
| Episode: Pilot
| Submitted by: rachellookslikeruby
| | |
| | | My favorite Glee quote: Have you ever liked somebody so much you just wanna lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music and cry? | Said by: Rachel
| Said to: Emma
| Episode: Showmance
| Submitted by: glee_dsb
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| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: Glee Kids, Hooray!
| Said by: Emma Pillsbury
| Said to: Everyone
| Episode: Showmance
| Submitted by: Devon08
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: Pamphlets in Guidance counselor's office:
Ouch, that Stings DIVORCE: Why Your Parent's Stopped Loving You I Can't Stop Touching Myself RADON: The Silent Killer My Mom's Bi-Polar and She Won't Stop Yelling Wow! There's a Hair Down There So, You Like Throwing Up | Said by: Emma
| Said to: Rachel
| Episode: Showmance
| Submitted by: Humroot
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "Who is Josh Groban!? Kill Yourself! He is an angel sent from heaven to deliver platinum records unto us. And if he were here right now I would club you to death with his Critic's Choice Award."
| | Said by: Sandy | Said to: Howard Bamboo
| Episode: Acafellas
| Submitted by: mmcollver | | |
| | My favorite Glee quote:
Sue: Iron tablet? Keeps your strength up while your menstruating.
Will: I don't menstruate..
Sue: Really? Neither do I.
| Said by: Sue
| Said to: Will
| Episode: Showmance
| Submitted by: ilyglee
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: There's not much of a difference between a stadium full of cheering fans, and an angry crowd screaming abuse at you - they're both just making a lot of noise. How you take it is up to you.
| Said by: Sue Sylvester
| Said to: her segment audience, and us
| Episode: Preggers
| Submitted by: claudia_1201
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "Your wife is going to be pushing a watermelon out of her boy-howdy in five months! She doesn't need nice!!"
| Said by: Kendra
| Said to: Will
| Episode: Preggers
| Submitted by: GleeFanatic
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote:
Emma: Wow
Sue: Wow is the word Alma! You know I wasn't always in the spot light. (to Emma)But I didn't want to end up stuck in a lousy high school, wrestling with mental illness. (to Ken)Or fourty, and single, coaching the worst football team in the history of our state. (to Will)Or having to go to the salon every week to have my hair permed. I didn't want to end up like that."
| Said by: Sue
| Said to: Emma, Ken, and Will
| Episode: Preggers
| Submitted by: GleeFanatic
| | | | | My favorite Glee quote: "Oh bambi... I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy..." | | Said by: Kurt Hummel | Said to: Emma Pilsbury | | Episode:The Rhodes not Taken | Submitted by: gleek4life | |  | | My favorite Glee quote: "I'm rolling on a fistful of horse tranquilizers, I can't feel my lips" | | Said by: April Rhodes | Said to: William Schuester | | Episode: The Rhodes Not Taken | Submitted by: Eddie | | | | My favorite Glee quote: "Hey, ankle grabber. I slept with your mom. No, really. I cleaned your pool, and then I slept with your mom - in your bed. Nice Star Wars sheets."
| Said by: Puck
| Said to: Jerky football player on the opposing team
| Episode: Preggers
| Submitted by: screennameless
| | |  | My favorite Glee quote: "I think I better Por myself another crantini. I'mm just kidding it's hot chocolate."
| Said by: April Rhodes
| Said to: Will Schuester
| Episode: The Rhodes Not Taken
| Submitted by: Kynt_And_Vyxsin_Rule
| | |
| My favorite Glee quote: "Did I miss the election for queen? Because I didn't vote for you."
| Said by: Kurt Hummel
| Said to: Rachel
| Episode: Pilot
| Submitted by: Garocola22
| | | | | My favorite Glee quote: Oh, Bambi. I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy. | Said by: Kurt Hummel
| Said to:
| Episode:
| Submitted by: rachelhudson
| | | | My favorite Glee quote: "You can kiss me if you want to?"
| Said by: Rachel
| Said to: Finn
| Episode:
| Submitted by: LadyOfCamlet
| | | | My favorite Glee quote: "You nailed all my lawn furniture to my roof."
| | Said by: Kurt | Said to: Finn
| Episode:Pilot
| Submitted by: .MrsKurtHummel.
| | | | My favorite Glee quote: I'll often yell at homeless people 'Hey, hows that homelessness working out for you?' Give NOT being homeless a try!
| Said by: sue sylvester
| Said to: WOHN news
| Episode: Preggers
| Submitted by: Shivanila
| | | | | My favorite Glee quote: "We're planning on smacking them down like the hand of God." | Said by:Artie Shaw
| Said to: Will
| Episode: Vitamin D
| Submitted by:
| | | | My favorite Glee quote: 'That was an amazing performance! Look, there is a PTA meeting on next Thursday night, and I want Acafellas to be the main event. I need to keep those parents happy! They found out we've been serving the children prison food!'
| Said by: Principal Figgins
| Said to: Will
| Episode: Acafellas
| Submitted by: Shivanila
| | | | My favorite Glee quote:
"Glee Club... Every time I try to destroy that clutch of scab-eating mouth-breathers it only comes back stronger, like some kind of sexually ambiguous horror movie Villain" | Said by:
Sue Sylvester | Said to:
Her journal | Episode:
Vitamin D | Submitted by:
gLeekspeak | | | | My favorite Glee quote: "Let me be frank: Your husband is hiding his Kielbasa in a Hickory Farms Gift Basket that doesn't belong to you."
| Said by:Sue Sylvester
| Said to: Terry Schuster
| Episode: Vitamin D
| Submitted by: gLeekspeak
| | | | My favorite Glee quote: I don't trust a man with curly hair. I can't help but picture little birds laying sulfurous eggs in there, and it disgusts me.
| Said by: Sue
| Said to: Will
| Episode: Throwdown
| Submitted by: Anna B.
| | | | My favorite Glee quote: I like minorities so much, I'm thinking of moving to California to become one.
| Said by: Sue
| Said to:
| Episode: Throwdown
| Submitted by: Anna B.
| | | | My favorite Glee quote:
I empower my Cheerios to be champions. Do they go to college? I don't know. I don't care. Should they learn Spanish? Sure, if they wanna become dishwashers and gardeners.
| Said by: Sue
| Said to:
| Episode: Throwdown
| Submitted by: Anna B.
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "Dude, just go to the nurses office. I go there and sleep for 3 hours everyday, I haven't been to math class in 2 years."
| Said by: Puck
| Said to: Finn | Episode: Vitamin D
| Submitted by: omgxitsxemmerz
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "I slept with him." "So did I. Wow, this play's weird." "Thats Mr. Ryersons favorite line."
| Said by: Rachel and Finn
| Said to: Rachel and Finn
| Episode: Preggers
| Submitted by: omgxitsxemmerz
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: You may laugh because every time I sign my name I put a gold star after it. But it's a metaphor, and metaphors are important. My gold stars are a metaphor for me being a star.
| Said by: Rachel Berry
| Said to: Narrated by Rachel
| Episode: Pilot
| Submitted by: JACOBM45
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote:
Oh dear god. Please, please. Stop talking. I'm trying desperately to ignore the trickily sweet inanity of your asinine conversation, but now I've got bile in my mouth. I will hold my tongue no further. | Said by: Sue Sylvester
| Said to: Will and Emma
| Episode: Vitamin D
| Submitted by:
| | |
| | | My favorite Glee quote: I always thought the desire to procreate showed deep personal weakness. | Said by: Sue
| Said to:
| Episode:
| Submitted by:
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote:
Will: "Since 1992, 95% of your Cheerios should have flunked spanish. And I, for one, am not gonna be a part of it anymore!"
Sue: "Ohhh, Will! We all know your devotion to that dying language!"
Will: "Dying language?!"
Sue: "Let me break this down for you, okay? I empower my cheerios to be champions. Do they go on to college? I don't know...I don't care. Should they learn spanish?...Sure, if they wanna become dishwashers & gardeners. But if they wanna be bankers and lawyers and captains of industry, the most important lesson they can possibly learn is how to do a round-off!" | Said by:
| Said to:
| Episode:
| Submitted by:
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote:
Kurt "You busted my window"
Mercedes: "Well you busted my heart" | Said by:
| Said to:
| Episode:
| Submitted by: lovekurt | | |
| | | My favorite Glee quote: "Hey, guys, how's it going? (inhales) god, it's a beautiful day. Let's run through the number. I can't wait to do the number. I'm ready and excited. Are you guys? stand up. come on. Let's get this joint jumping." | | Said by: Finn Hudson | Said to: The Glee Club Guys | | Episode: Vitamin D | Submitted by: adriancajili | | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "Get me to a day spa STAT!"
| Said by: Kurt
| Said to: Mercedes, Rachel, Tina
| Episode: Mash-up
| Submitted by: Luvsfrankenteen | | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "Are you questioning my Badassness!" I mean look at my Guns!
| Said by: Puck
| Said to: Rachel
| Episode: Mash-up
| Submitted by: Luvsfrankenteen
| | |
| |
I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark cold night, I’ll steal away into your home. And punch you in the face | Said by: Sue
| Said to: Will
| Episode: Mash-Up
| Submitted by: RegisteredGleek
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: Who is Josh Groban?! Kill yourself!
| Said by: Sandy
| Said to: Terri's co-worker
| Episode: Acafellas
| Submitted by: myidol
| | |
 | | My favorite Glee quote: No one deserves this feeling. You know what the worst part is, it's not the burning in your eyes, or the way the slushie drips all the way into your underpants, it's the humiliation. I feel like I could burst into tears at any moment. | Said by: Puck
| Said to: Rachel
| Episode: Mash-Up
| Submitted by: LunaKelly
| | |
| | | My favorite Glee quote: Santana, Wheels, Gay Kid. Come on, move it! Asian, Other Asian, Aretha, and Shaft. | Said by: Sue Sylvester
| Said to: Minority Glee Kids
| Episode: Throwdown
| Submitted by: cinnamon89
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote:
"I'm going to destroy you." "I'm about to vomit down your back." | Said by:
Mr.Schu
Sue | Said to:
| Episode:
Throwdown | Submitted by:
DefyGravity9753 | | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: you sunk my battleship, Rod. You sunk it hardd.
| Said by: Sue
| Said to: Rod
| Episode: Mash-Up
| Submitted by: GleeIsMyLife
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: I don't understand how lightening is in competition with an above ground swimming pool?
| Said by: Kurt Hummel
| Said to: Mr. Shu
| Episode: Vitamin D
| Submitted by: Believeinlove08
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: Rachel was a hot Jew, and the good Lord wanted me to get in her pants.
| Said by: Puck
| Said to: in a voice over
| Episode: Mash-up
| Submitted by: malloryg
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "I don't understand how a lightning is a competition to an above ground swimming pool."
| Said by: Kurt Hummel
| Said to: Will Schuester
| Episode: Vitamin D
| Submitted by: Kurt'snumber1fan
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: Sue: "Here these kids are living on food stamps" Mercedes: " Uh, my dad's a dentist."
| Said by: Sue and Mercedes
| Said to: Sue: Will Mercedes: Sue
| Episode: Throwdown
| Submitted by: #1gleek
| | |
|  | My favorite Glee quote: "My body is like a rum chocolate souffle. If I don't warm it up right, it won't rise."
| Said by: Kurt
| Said to: Finn
| Episode: Preggers
| Submitted by: Kurt'snumber1fan
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "Hey buddy, i thought i smelt failure"
| Said by: Sue
| Said to: Will Shuester | Episode:
| Submitted by: moe667
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "I got this at the school library. Did you know you can borrow books from there? All of 'em. Except for the encyclopedias."
| Said by: Finn
| Said to: Will
| Episode: Preggers
| Submitted by: kortniilee
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "Get me to a day spa, stat!"
| Said by: Kurt after being slushied.
| Said to: Female Gleeks
| Episode: I'm not sure :(
| Submitted by: magicness
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "I know my methods are extreme and i'm not like the rest of you hippies, caring about the kids feelings, as if they're real. But I do care about teaching, and when I coach them and they win,I win, and you know how I feel about winning"
| Said by: Sue
| Said to: Mr. Schu
| Episode: Throwdown
| Submitted by: GleekSpeek
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "...are you an Eve who was born a Steve ?"
| Said by: Sue
| Said to: Jacob
| Episode: Throwdown
| Submitted by: SpeekGleek
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "The Wheelchair kid's right. That Rachel chick makes me want to light my self fire, but she can sing.
| | Said by: Puck | Said to: Will
| Episode:
| Submitted by: marbear16
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: Dear Journal. Feeling listless again today. It began at dawn when I tried making a slushie out of beef bones, breaking my juicer.
| Said by: Sue
| Said to: (voiceover) Journal | Episode:
| Submitted by:
| | |
| | | My favorite Glee quote: "I'm just really stressed about the bake sale. I LIKE ARTIE, ALRIGHT!? | Said by: Puck
| Said to: Mr. Schue (after fighting Finn)
| Episode: Wheels :)
| Submitted by: char_arch_hudson
| | |
|  | My favorite Glee quote: "I'm just saying I love you more than I love being a star.
| Said by: Kurt Hummel
| Said to: Burt Hummel
| Episode: Wheels
| Submitted by: ama.dear
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "Well maybe if we put a jellybean or something on top we'd sell more."
| Said by: Finn
| Said to: Glee members
| Episode: Wheels
| Submitted by: sarahnatalya
| | |
|  | | My favorite Glee quote: One day you will all work for me | Said by:
Kurt Hummel | Said to: Jocks
| Episode: Showmance
| Submitted by: ilovekurthummel
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: We plan on smacking them down like the hand of god.
| Said by: Artie
| Said to: Mr. Schu
| Episode:Mash up
| Submitted by: herfrogness
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "So you've never been slushied before Mr Shue?"
| Said by: Artie
| Said to: Mr. Shue
| Episode: Mash Up
| Submitted by: LadyOfCamelot
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "Listen you little psycho this is Will's wife and if I don't get enough sleep my anti-depressants don't work, and then I'll go crazy and I'll kill you."
| Said by: Terri
| Said to: Susie Pepper
| Episode:Ballad
| Submitted by: loveyou1488
| | |
| | My Favorite Glee quote:
Mercedes: "Open your eyes, I never told you to close your eyes."
Finn: "Is there a cake?"
Mercedes: "No there's no cake!"
| | Episode: Ballad | | Submitted by: loveyou1488 | | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: I love the days when I don't wear underwear.... full commando....
| Thought by: Puck
| Said to: the world...............
| Episode: Ballad
| Submitted by: loveyou1488
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: I never noticed how nice Rachel's butt is.......... Oh crap I think Quinn knows I'm lookin at it....
| Thought by: Finn
| Said to: we the people
| Episode: Ballad
| Submitted by: loveyou1488
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "He's cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of four is rainbows."
| Said by: Kurt Hummel (Chris Colfer)
| Said to:
| Episode: Ballads
| Submitted by: mmcollver
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "If we were to rank crushable teachers in this school, you'd be number one with a bullet."
| Said by: Emma Pillsbury (Jayma Mays)
| Said to: Will Schuester (Matthew Morrision)
| Episode: Ballad
| Submitted by: mmcollver
| | |
| | My favorite Glee quote: "How do you explain her constant irritation with you? It's because she's a girl."
| Said by: Kurt Hummel (Chris Colfer)
| Said to: Finn Hudson (Cory Monteith)
| Episode: Ballad
| Submitted by: mmcollver
| | |
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